A Different Point of View

Alas, the problem with country life…no trick or treaters to decorate for. I have always been a `weener – the very decorated house, the best candy and the costume in which to greet the children at the door. Now, no need for all that. And I do miss it. Had life been more amenable I would have held a party for friends – I’ll have to remember that for next year.

It has been a rather hectic few days as Sarge transferred and is back in the saddle, so to speak. The late night calls, the wreck reports, all of it. We dressed his office with some photos and books as it was a bit sterile. Now it reflects his personality. We still have to set up the “I Love Me” wall of framed certificates but next weekend will see that done. No matter – I haven’t seen him this happy in a few years. What a burden has been lifted from him. And me, in truth, as I don’t have to walk on eggshells. Not that he brought more than a very small percentage of that irritation home but I never wanted to add to it and it was sweater_sleevesometimes hard not to…instead, I decided to take up the sweater I started ages ago and finish it for the new house and the work to come this winter. A simple one, really, with a hefty wool body and chunkier cuff and collar – something to toss on over a tshirt and need no coat in the way – a generous warmth and slight waterproof layer. I think he will like its friendly, casual style. Just a bit more work and it will be ready in time for the first real chill.

It was a great day, really, though we’re both exhausted by it now. A lot of yard work, repairs on equipment, poop brigade (the never ending chore with two large dogs), and pecan retrieval. The day started quite early, I’ve been a bit sickly with allergies or crud so sleep was nominal until at 6am the cat demanded food and exit, in that order. I lay back, waiting on the sound of the coffee brewing, then fetched the first cup as he slept. I let him sleep as long as he wanted. The dogs and I enjoyed the muffled morning.foggyfield

What an incredible thing…especially for a city girl. If anyone had told me in my youth that I could and would have this I would have laughed in their face. Then taken their lunch money. Seriously, it is the epitome of bucolic! Just ridiculously wonderful. The only thing that would improve its situation is to surround it with another 50 acres and a forest. I find myself – as does Sarge – just looking out the windows in distraction and appreciation. One works very hard all their life and never hopes for such  pleasure. At least no one from our families.barbedwire2

Each morning I take a sample of the life here as if it were temporary, a way to save each barbedwire1season. Soon enough the winter ice, then the thaw and green of spring and again the light across the land will be familiar.

It is the thing I like most – not only in new places but anywhere, really, how the light moves on the land, the features…the tint it lends the air…here, in autumn, the best sunset view. There, in spring, you can see a delicate violet and rose shade  in the morning sky.

The best part of letting the land speak for a year is that you know what view you really ought not obscure, what tree is worth nursing another year, and how much you hate that pencil cactus in the front bar ditch.

I’ve been keeping a calendar of the land to remind myself of those tasks that must be done as the wheel turns. It is too easy to forget, to get caught up in life and find yourself in May with no peas growing, no morning glories ready to climb the fence. I fully intend to plant a lovely short thyme under the pecan tree at the porch. Far too difficult to see them in the leaf litter and dirt. But there is much work to be done for the gardener in me. I’d given up that craft after I lost the garden of my dreams. I swore I would never invest that much love again in a temporary place but now…now I can let go that concern and focus again on the light – how long it sits and where.

Just now I am dreaming of the revised front walk and a proper semi-circular driveway to greet guests. Nothing too fancy, mind you. painted_skyJust some gravel and stones with maybe some rose hedges. But it lacks a proper walk and that approach really should be one that shows how happy we are here.

But I’ve another plan, first. A proper swing with this view, as it never changes and yet is never the same. Reliable and surprising each night. A place to hold hands and pet dog heads for years and years. Yes, a priority, that.




Misty Morning Thoughts

Sarge is off to his part time which meant a very early wake-up and sausage wrap prep for his breakfast on the go, the large Thermos filled with superior coffee. I packed his lunch with the usual care, trying to make it feel as if my love was packed along side the sandwich and slaw. I smiled as I hid the cookies in the bento container, a nice surprise for later in the day.

It rained (finally!) last night which meant the dawn light was heavily filtered with the thick mist rising from the pastures. misty_morningEven the daily donkey greeting was muffled, the roosters offering only a few greetings in response. I could imagine their feathers damped down, a tired shake to free them of the dew and the half hearted retort offered before settling back down in the hope of sunshine later.

I’ve been watching the same three crows snatching the pecans from the ground, not willing to chase them off their feast. We had friends over early in the week to harvest as much as we could from the wind-fall, knocking the nearly falling nuts from their husks in the limbs to save them from those ravaging birds. It was such a pecan_bucketgenerous harvest that we each walked away with a 5 gallon bucket of nuts, that in addition to the bucket I’d already gathered in the week prior. My favorite tree has such lovely sable colored shells, tiger striped with dark veins. So much brighter than the other trees’ supply which has the usual dusky, dusty grey coloring. And the size of these things – a top quality appearance that looks divine on top of a rich cookie.

range_daySarge has been fighting the system for some time, without result, and finally had to escalate his concerns. It was not a “fix this for me” conversation. Rather, it was a request for guidance for his future and a reassurance that he hadn’t made the wrong decision coming to Texas. It may have been the best career decision yet, the conversation very sincere and helpful with a referral to a health program in trial for the department. “I have plans for you…” was the sentiment offered, a compliment of high value. So we’ve both been making a concerted effort to edit our menus and regimen to aid that program. I have seen such an incredible change in his attitude in just a week…from one of utter doubt and disappointment to one of hope and challenge. It can be very difficult to be supportive in those times of despair – nothing you say will help, really, and the retort of “you don’t know how it is…” can be hard to argue against. I am usually a very good at managing his stress but this had me at my wits end. I could not help him see his way through it, I could only try to keep his home life as calm and welcoming as possible. I admit it was sometimes hard to not offer my own biting words, offering to return to work if it would help his stress level. I know being the sole income is an incredible burden. I made the offer with trepidation – because if he asked me to I would do it. But he wanted to try…to push through if he could. And now it seems he has managed to do just that.

Meanwhile, the kids came for a visit when he managed to get a pass from the Air Force. I cannot tell you how glad we were to visit with them and to be the first to know the gender of the coming wee one. They wanted to hold a gender reveal party at the house for the families so we had to know in order to do a proper reveal. We’d hoped to do something quite impressive in the kaboom-y sort of way. However, our original attempts were more of Pffts and our EOD pal was on vacation. We don’t have a proper backstop to allow the usual target and Tannerite method.

That was when I recalled my aged collection of model rockets and engines and told Sarge it might work if we could get the chalk inserted as a payload somehow. This led to a couple days of test runs and madly running around the yard to swipe up the evidence of the attempts. baby_reveal_go_blueFinally, he had the best payload method and engine combination. While certainly not the explosive result I am sure the kids had hoped for, it was the best we could do…what was really sad was Sarge had taken a less lethal class all week and they had the most gloriously blue smoke grenade…but only the one. So just an FYI for anyone considering reveal options in the future one of those would be superb.

We gathered everyone under the guise of a casual meal and a sunset family photo op, surprising them all with the gender reveal event. Amusingly but strangely, Ranger absolutely demanded to be in the photo. He would not be shooed away and promptly sat down at my feet, turning to the camera. Everyone laughed, of course, but it did give me a small frisson of sadness. ranger_reveal

Did he know something? Feel his own age creeping up and knowing to take advantage of the photo op? Or just his natural ham coming out? I was a bit irked to see later that my own appearance was sub-optimal. I could have changed, brushed my hair, etc. But I was so busy with all the food, wrangling rockets, etc. that I simply forgot about myself.

I’d hoped to decorate and make it truly special but it simply couldn’t be done. I still feel rather sad and responsible for it being lackluster for the kids but in the end the casual nature led to a really calm and enjoyable evening. As night fell, everyone sat in groups, chatting and sharing the attention of the kids who had been missed so much. Everyone remarked on the wonderful vibe the house has and I have to agree – there is something so serene about this land… At any rate, I hope to make up for the low key event with a Christmas baby shower covered in decorations, games, and brisket.

The kids managed to make up for the make-do photo event with their own trip to a fall festival – just look at this picture, one of several that were just perfect.wee_pumpkin It is so sweet – she has been practically bedridden with morning sickness and this trip and the entertaining of company was, I think, a difficult undertaking for her. But she pressed on, not only for her own family but for his – knowing how much he matters to them and how pleased they are with the news. I just hope she has managed to get some rest. He returns to his life as usual on the base, studying for the next set of tests. He has done SO WELL thus far and is happy with his path. They do worry about the future assignment and its rather small base and housing option. But one never knows what the future will bring. They are open to whatever the future brings – a characteristic that will take them far in the military life.

Allow me to share this usual morning view…I cannot help but revel in its bucolic peace with the sliver of moon lending charm…no matter what else happens, this place is where we were meant to be. This is what we were meant to have. Fate smiling like that moon while concealing the other secrets.

The Nose On Your Face

I find it quite odd that people cannot see the Republican (cough, sputter Progressive, cough) candidate for who and what he is. Maybe it is my misbegotten youth but I know a long con when I see one and that is all this has been for him. trump-the-carnival-barkerI think he is astounded that no matter what comes to light, what he says, or what he does the public still adores him. He cannot get fired from the job that he never intended to take! His entire plan is to garner brand recognition in new demographics, begin a new media business, and set up his kids for future political roles (the pinnacle of long cons). His aspirations are transparent, his moves predictable. My only hope is that Texas chooses to walk away for a few years as this internecine battle wages on.

I readily admit that few associates and friends agree with me – a thing that astounds me, frankly. Or they declare it the lesser of two evils as if the man who sat his opposition in the front row of his wedding has a differing set of values. No, he simply does not care what happens as long as his bank account adjusts. He knows the coming years are going to be a fiasco and won’t take that on as his job – no, indeed. He never intends to work that hard for a buck.

We could review his Russian dalliances, of course. He is fully owned and propped up by them. Yesterday’s news about his acquisition of an article that was pure propaganda from an obscure reference, proffered as “news” when he flung the pages about at his rally points to just how “connected” he is. That article should set everyone on their heels, frankly. But no…it will be wrapped  up and tucked away as if it was just a distraction. It was helpful in one way, at least, and that is to show that the Wikileaks material can and has been doctored as needed. Do not believe anything that comes from over that Iron Curtain. They never stopped waging the Cold War, you see. Kids today have no clue about it – how the goal to turn a Republic into a Democracy and thence to a socialistic conclave easily manipulated via puppets was formed and brought to fruition. They’ve never known freedom.

When you add on his disgusting sexual commentary – not only the recent revelation but even the sexualization of his own daughter – and I cannot fathom how anyone can even consider him as a man – he is a deviant, disgusting pig and it does a disservice to pigs to make that association. I am no prude, mind you, but to hear a man essentially declare he can grope any woman at any time regardless of her desire for same was pure evil. I am quite familiar with the alpha male demeanor and tenor – there is a world of difference in admiring a woman’s assets from afar and admiring them held in your hand as she shrinks back in disgusting horror. No real man would say or do such a thing regardless of their power to do so or the lack of retribution for their actions.

I’ve been rather busy taking all those caviling types off my lists on the social pages. I can only shake my head that people who I thought were squared away are shown to be moral relativists. Right is bloody right and wrong is wrong. No excuses.

But then all the evidence is showing that this has been one massive shell game, anyway. You were shown the candidates and thought you would get to choose the best one while in the background there was only one that was chosen and that through mutual agreement. The pea was never under any shell, you rube. Again, maybe just my city girl ways but I know a con when I see one. I suppose the thing that frightens me most is the fervent ardor of a vast number of Americans for precisely what he represents. In short, I do not have enough bullets for that battle. Just damn, people.