It finally rained, the whitest white clouds merging and darkening with the afternoon’s heat. It feels like months since the last storm, everything covered in dust and sour. I kept donning the large Gortex coat to check on Lovey, the mourning dove that took up residence in the tree in front. We’ve been putting out seed, Lovey being the remnant of the first hatching. She didn’t fly much or well though we would press her into it now and then. I looked at the half broken nest the other day and thought I saw a patchy fluff of head under her chest. Indeed, there are two wee dove heads hiding there. I fretted over them all evening but all seems well. With so much going on, it is a kinder focus for my mind, this care for something so fragile and mundane.
A conversation with a friend reminded me of this music…the days painful, the music was all that soothed and kept the madness banked. I’d forgotten it. As I’d forgotten so much of those hours…one mistake after another and yet all on the path that led here and who is to say it was all error and failure? It is because of those days that I can find forbearance for much these days.
(You can see an entire concert here if it pleases.)
I drift now, from one interest to another, with the years making me feel less and less a part of this quick world. I ache for smaller, less…I enjoy all these rooms and comforts, yes. But they distract…I remember how happy I was with half as much – of how I would jump up every Sunday to hike and run through hilly woods before the world woke. I’d be home, making breakfast, when most were having their first cup of coffee. It just felt like I did so much more, then.
And now…well, admittedly, it’s bloody damned hot for hiking…it was easier with one dog. He traveled well, listened well. I worry to take them both…
But it may be a good time to start anew…get that silly dog ramp so that they can get in and out of the truck with ease and just start seeing the sights I’d learned about before we came here. Before it all changes…
Speaking of heroes – this is an old favorite and a good one to close the night. Such power…sacrificed. Waylaid.