As The Phlegm Turns

Man, even the word is nasty – Phlegm. Spittum is no better. Lung cookie is a favorite but many people squint when I use it. Whatever you call it, I have it – in spades. No, really. Gardening spades full of it.

Let’s see – fever, cough, exhaustion, sore throat, congestion, runny nose…add some buboes and it’d be the Dark Ages all over again. But do you know what makes this martyr specially martyristic? I kissed and waved at the Trooper as he left for a ride on his new bike with his pal. The world needs to know just how amazing I am. It could just be the fever talking at this point, though.

I tried to get some work done but found myself sending out meeting requests during times that no one was available. Suhweet. Step away from the Outlook. Instead, it has been a series of blow, hack, sip, hack, blow, keel over. I will have to deal with work later when I haven’t more snark than sense.

I will tell you this, though – if that damned cat rings the bells on the door knob to go outside ONE MORE TIME I will put him in the tub. Smartass bastard. What kind of cat tells you when to open the door?

Right, then. Time to keel over, I think.

6 thoughts on “As The Phlegm Turns”

  1. @Laura-

    I am going to try and absolve myself of a less than helpful post in the past!

    I have chronic allergies and congestion is par for the course. Might I recommend a Neti pot or the modern equivalent NeilMed sinus rinse? They provide some relief for me.

    Kelly

  2. I hate being sick.
    Doctor Six recommends 3 to 6 ounces of your favorite hot toddy mix. There is nothing a warmed up alcoholic beverage won't fix.
    Get well soon Laura.

  3. LUNG BUTTAH!! My new fav!

    Keads, I have an especially fancy pants nose hose. You can look up the “Grossan Hydro Pulse® System”. A waterpik for the nose. Which is what I shall be about in a few hours.

    That and maybe a nice toddy. I could stop on the way home for a lemon…

  4. @LauraB- I bow with deference in the presence of your nose hose technology!

    Seriously one is on the way, thanks for the tip!

    The toddy is always a good idea!

    Hope you feel better soon!

    Kelly

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